A Birds Nest

Travelling tales

I went travelling last year with my corporate magician friend, and we had a really great time, although I did have to save him from a desperate money situation as he had not prepared well before going away. We went on a tour of South America for 3 months, and it really was an amazing experience, but his troubles did highlight to me how important it is to do your research on things, before going away on such a trip. Luckily for him, I did my research!

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Different Kinds Of Mothers

While mulling over some really boring human resources software that my boss was on about us buying (that I couldn’t care less about, obviously) the other day, I fell into the addictive trap of typing weird things in to Google and seeing what came up. Now, I’m not on about typing naughty things in to Google of course (you can only do that once the boss has left, as you’re probably aware) I’m on about weird random things such as finding out what happened to the baby who starred as Oscar (I think) in the hit 80s film Labyrinth (he went on to do some acting and was forever quizzed about if he had nightmares for many years after the filming as he was in close proximity to lots of goblins at nearly all times) and other stuff like that. And that got me thinking: is that legal? I mean think about it seriously now: if Jim Henson, God rest his soul, knocked on your door and said “say, I have this really great idea for a goblin film…Lots of dancing and singing goblins and David Bowie in leotards, actually…and it needs a baby, fancy lending me mine?” would you say “Yes!”. What mother really WOULD say yes, come to think of it? Anyone who has witnessed the disturbing nature of that film will agree with me: it would be a very bad thing to let your baby in for and you’d have to be pretty desperate for the money in any case…

But then again…Think of the money. Jim Henson did well for himself, so he probably would have paid well…So it would have been tempting. Anyway, all this is what you think about when you are forced to learn HTML. It does your head in, basically, so it’s good to have various things to think about which can divert your attention from such things.

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Freelance Advise And It’s Free: Yes, FREE!

Many moons ago – or it certainly feels like that now I have reached the age I have and feel too much like an adult for my liking – I used to love getting argos discount vouchers for Christmas. This was back when I honestly, truly believed that Argos was operated by a race of super-dwarves that raced around getting all the products. To this day I don’t know how Argos works, amongst a number of other unexplainable things. One of these things is how you get successful doing freelance anything. Freelance really is strange. Why? Well, because one day you might be inundated with work, so much you feel saturated like your head is going to explode, and the next the emails go dead quiet and you feel like the whole world has forgotten you. With this in mind I will attempt to now give my advice to those starting out. Here is what to and what not to expect.

1) Don’t expect work to come to you, well, at least not until you are reasonably established. To begin with it’s just good old hard work and first come first served. So don’t just sit there, get emailing!

2) You will get rejection: it hurts. You might think you are used to it, but you never fully are. Still, you get harder over time, and eventually you won’t cry, you’ll just move on and see what happens next.

3) The money will come, but you may also have to chase people up. For reasons as yet unexplained to anyone (as far as I can tell), customers think that freelance workers live in a kind of different dimension where rent doesn’t have to be paid on time and things are paid for by magic. I am serious. So get used to emailing people and asking them for money, because if you don’t then you are setting yourself up for a fall.

4) You guessed it, folks: at least you can get down the pub early on Friday. Yeah!

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Meet Me: I Am Shazzer And I Will Teach People A Lesson!

People don’t know. They THINK they know, they know how to use Google to get information, and they think that qualifies them as KNOWING! Well, my name is Shazzer and I am here to tell you that this is not the case, actually, far from it. For example, upon seeing the aforementioned name “Shazzer” you may well think that this must mean I was born “Sharon”. Well here’s one for the grandkids: I wasn’t! I was born something else, so there (and I shall leave it at that, just to further punish everyone I am getting at with this article, ha!)

The point is this: I can be a bit old-fashioned. I like the old Argos discount codes that I used to know and love, and I like the way Opal Fruits (as opposed to Starburst) tasted. I like, also, the words we used to use regularly, and I like to employ them where necessary, even at my peril. Like “handsome”. Now, years ago you could say that a woman looked handsome, and you would not get a funny look, but now you can’t, no. Now it’s changed. Nowadays if you call a woman handsome then they say “but that’s how you describe a man, idiot”. And this is not limited to just this example, of course. There are millions of ways that the modern age has distorted or changed things from how they used to be, into ways which aren’t necessarily any better. In some cases as I have proven, they are just wrong, so there.

What to do about it? I don’t know. I am but one person in this world of billions of living things. I guess my hope is that YOU might read this and feel the same. Who knows, maybe a revolution is in order?

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Simple things: what is it about the simple?

Ah, hermes bags …simple, uncomplicated, stylish. Three words which flood my brain pretty much any time I walk down a high-street. Honestly, I don’t know how my boyfriend copes with me…

But anyway, thinking once again about how I love hand bags made me wonder: what is it about special and uncomplicated things that is so attractive? It’s odd, don’t you think? The more complex something is, the better it is supposed to be, for example. There are a few other anomalies, such as follows…

1) If a girl has a plain face then it’s not really a good thing. Yet I adore plain hand bags. Why is this?

2) Simple people are considered dumb, while every single one of Apple’s products are plain and minimal.

3) Speaking of things minimal, the world is full of minimal design that is much loved. Yet when I used to wear my Dunlop trainers at school, which are exceedingly simple, everyone laughed at me!

This means that you get all the familiarity of a product but with the knowledge that each and every one is entirely unique…

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Fats In Bodybuilding

Now I lift weights on a regular basis and one of the many things I know is that protein is certainly a crucial nutrient for bodybuilders to build muscles. That being said too many bodybuilders tend to believe that it is all they need. It is important to realize that fat is also significant in the diet of bodybuilders. For the body to absorb vitamins and release hormones that have to do with muscle building and energy synthesis, fat must be present. The key here is to consume the right type and amount of dietary fat.

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Getting a web-page done

Very often I’ll be talking to someone about designing a web page and they’ll say they know someone who needs one doing and can I help? I usually say no. Not because I wouldn’t like to – I love that stuff, I can be a right dork – but because I simply don’t have the time. This is often the way. Web design is a growing industry and to be honest 99% of the time I have enough to do without taking on extra-curricular work!

What I can do, however, since I feel like writing today, is to blog about how you can hire a graphic designer and how to get the best out of them. It goes something like this:

you are paying for this, so don’t accept second best! If you do accept second best then chances are you’ll regret it at a later date

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Freelancing is great and here is how to do it

Freelancing is magnificent. And I don’t use that word for everything, I can tell you. I do not bandy it around! So what’s good about being a freelancer? Well, everything, in short. But for a lengthier description of the pros and cons, please read on.

1) The good stuff: you get to be your own boss, and you can be a nice boss at that. You wake up when you say you wake up, and you crawl into bed whenever you wish to…

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Broadband and Taxes

One of the things that many freelancers forget is how much they rely on the internet. If my connection were to go down suddenly I would be quite literally up the creek without a paddle. Having fast, effective and – most importantly – reliable broadband is an essential for any freelancer. If I didn’t have the ability to access the internet then I wouldn’t be able to function. Think about it, email, Google, social networking, general research, chat, and video…without a good connection you can kiss potential success as a freelancer goodbye.

Good broadband will make you more reliable to your clients.

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How to draw circles

Hands up everyone: how much do you hate drawing a circle by hand? Answer: a lot I should think. Ever since I was young I have noticed how difficult some people find it to draw cirecles by hand. But you know what the really weird thing is? For me it’s always been really easy. I don’t mean to boast, it’s just like that. Want to know my secret? Great! You’ve come to the right place my friend, now here we go…

Drawing a circle by hand is all about keeping your arm steady, but loose enough in the wrist that you can make a flowing motion

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