A Birds Nest

Don’t Try This At Home

You know that saying “Like a sitting duck?” Well–How daft is that? If you’ve ever approached a sitting duck (sleeping, eating, any kind of duck, really) then you’ll know that you have absolutely zero chance of getting within five feet of it without it quacking loudly and waddling away from you at speed.

This was the topic of conversation in the pub last week (along with why horses are dangerous and Liposuction surgery). To cut a long story short, my More

Agony, Please, It’s So Much Fun

“I feel great after working out”. “I feel energized.” “I feel so much better than if I had just sat down and watched TV with a tub of deluxe toffee ice cream, honestly!”

Pants do you! I mean, seriously, are these people for real? Do they honestly expect us non worker-outers to believe this rubbish? I don’t believe it for a second. I believe that exercise can benefit you greatly, but I’m no idiot.

Now, it may sound as though More

Love Them!

I don’t know much about common things, like how to have a Gastric band fitted, or how fast the planets go as they rotate and all that. But what I do know is just as important: Badgers get a raw deal. Not because they strongly resemble one of those black and white boiled sweets that you can’t buy anymore—make a comparison, they really actually do—but because of their fiendish, malevolent nature. Apparently. It’s rubbish of course, a complete load of More

Good Advice

I don’t sit at a table anymore when I travel on a train. I now have a very strict rule about that and will do absolutely anything to avoid it, including a) looking like a buffoon, b) paying someone to sit there for me (in desperate circumstances) and c) pretending I have ‘writer’s ass’, a condition which prohibits me from sitting on seats which have been hardened by a million unique pairs of buttocks. You may think that the worst More

5 Ways I Can Improve My Life

There are very few facets in my life right now that I am unhappy about and that need changing. I have a good job, a great wife, a great family, a good collection of friends, and I am reasonably healthy. But like everyone else, there are things I wish to improve in my life. Here are five ways I can improve my life, and I suspect several of these you will agree with in your own life.

1. Procrastination. Why More