A Birds Nest

Agony, Please, It’s So Much Fun

“I feel great after working out”. “I feel energized.” “I feel so much better than if I had just sat down and watched TV with a tub of deluxe toffee ice cream, honestly!”

Pants do you! I mean, seriously, are these people for real? Do they honestly expect us non worker-outers to believe this rubbish? I don’t believe it for a second. I believe that exercise can benefit you greatly, but I’m no idiot.

Now, it may sound as though I am being a total pessimist, but I’m not. This, I feel confident, is the voice of the people. And someone needs to stand up against all these exercise-energizer people, don’t they? Otherwise we’ll be in a situation like back in the eighties again, where people wearing lycra rule the world–And we just can’t have that. We have enough problems already.

Just to be sure that I was correct in my thinking that after exercise a person feels awful, I went on an exercise mission. Not just a jog, oh no. So much more. I donned my age old lycra running shorts and took to the streets. After that I took my small yet workable canoe down to the river, and by heck did I go downstream fast (after a brief attempt to go upstream that almost gave me a heart attack).

Here are my conclusions: the jog hurt like hell, after it it just got worse. The canoe trip went badly (even with my travel pillow to make it a little more comfortable), as I am inexperienced and kept hitting people. The general overview? The whole thing sucked. Screw being fit. I say don’t bother.